Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Crest


Crest
Waves of anger and depression
Slapping against my being like gray waves
On a black sand beach
Too hot to walk on
Too dreary to sit and watch
So I’ll move along and check the swatch
Of this new satin and silky fabric
This stuff that is supposed to hold it all together
This stuff that brings happiness in any kind of weather
Oh look, the moths and the worms have left their say
I cannot speak, I cannot pray
Or I can but I’m afraid of what I will speak
Everything I’ve loved, I seek
But have found this place of dark derision
I have come to the point of stark decision
Do I jump into this mosh pit that I can see
Or do I wait for these things I cannot
This waiting is hell, it seems to go on eternal
This silence is torture, this noise is infernal
When all that my soul longs for is a sound
A sound that casts all to the ground
All that is not beauty, down

I still cannot hear it.

Maybe I should move
Maybe I should change my place
Maybe I should change my face
Like all the other superstars
Maybe I should join in the farce
Known as jaunty superstition and hype
Known as virtual expertise, so ripe 
Is the fruit of all our monstrosities
Painted to appear like lovely charities
We mock what we cannot know

I look to the mountains and see the snow
I long to know its cold, pure light.

I have wandered far, I have wandered here
I have left the wheel and refused to steer
The course that every other person seems to go
They ask and ask, I answer “I don’t know,
I have no idea of which way to go
And I’m not sure anyone else does either.”
I pause for a moment to enjoy a breather
And everyone else perceives it as ignorance
Simply because I am not speaking
They leave me standing there with the answer in my soul
So, that’s ok, I’ll just walk to whole
I’ll just meander myself off into the distance
I’m told I need a guide, a companion, a help
Yet all of these have seem to go their own ways
I look to stars, I lift my gaze
I decide to follow the whisperings of the wind
This wind, the last of my unseen friends
Begins to dance along the river
This place is good, my spine does quiver
In the knowing of nothing at all
In the understanding of almost everything
I feel a song, a dance, I sing
To a song that only the dogs can hear
A song I know and love so well
A song that makes the gray waves swell
Until they crest into a blue-green sea

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