Thursday, November 26, 2009

Real Life

I have struggled some this Thanksgiving for a variety of reasons. It seems like that recently I have met with multiple disappointments and just frank disasters in life that have gotten me wondering what life is really all about. Now I know there are others that have it much worse than I do, but that isn't the point. The point is what are we all doing here and what is life about? Anyone that knows me well knows that when questions like that strike me, they go deep and I will almost go to any length to find an answer. In the midst of receiving news about friends with cancer, children with brain tumors, people dying, and young people throwing their lives away I had to simply get before God and ask, "What is going on here?" It is very frustrating to me to KNOW that I carry the power of the Living God within me, yet I can't seem to take that out of my chest and put it to use where it seems it is needed most. Yes, I can do the humanly possible things like pray and send cards and encourage people, but I just know in my heart we were made for more than that. When Jesus speaks of abundant life I really know in my heart that He means a life just like He lived, and He lived supernaturally. I told Him today that I feel like I am a man with a key ring that has thousands of keys on it, and some of the keys are locked up in little lockets, and I have a group of hundreds of children with me. We are standing before a great fortress with a huge iron gate, and on the inside is safety and provision for our entire group, and I have the key on that ring to open the gate, but I don't know which one it is. And to add to the drama there is a pack of wild beasts coming full speed at us, fully intending to tear us all apart and devour us. I scream, "God help me find the key!" only to hear silence. Or worse yet someone that is there with me tells me that I have to fix some issue in my life to open up one of the lockets so I can even get access to the keys. So, right here at the point of my greatest frustrations, one of my spiritual moms sends me a devotional that talks of how it is the heartbeat of God and His love that holds the entire universe together. It speaks of how our call is simply to rest with Him and allow His love to fill us, and then just go out and allow that love to flow. This may not sound profound, but it is life-changing. I don't have to "do" something to change the world. All I have to do is walk with Him and stay with Him, and He is powerful and loving enough that the simple act of being with Him will change me into one that is truly alive. His light and His life are what changes the world. I just have to be available for Him to shine through me. I don't know why I can't grasp this simple truth of walking in real life.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Grow Where I am Planted

Trees, lovely and stately
All throughout the mountains
All throughout the valleys
Placed in precision
By the Hand that knows all
And is all
I almost feel like the tree on the ledge
I feel like there isn’t much future for me
I am not placed in the fertile valley
I was placed right on the precipice
But I will grow where I am planted
Because there is a purpose here
Maybe it is to draw the eye to the beauty beyond
Maybe it is to just simply be
Maybe it is to draw the heart to the wonder and adventure that is here
I know not, and I don’t need to know
I simply need to grow
Lord, I grow where I am planted
And thank You for the view…

K. Duane Carter 11-14-09

Friday, November 13, 2009

The Precipice

The Precipice
I sit here at the edge of a precipice
Six inches away from a fall to death
With everything in me telling me I am going to die
All fear and anxiety and foreboding rising up to join the party
Showing me visions of the grisly fall
The grisly landing, and the grisly death
But I refuse to move; I refuse to move
For the view is so grand and so glorious
That I know I am looking at a reflection of God’s glory
And suddenly I sense Him sitting right there beside me
And fear turns to awe, and I know I am not going to die
And even if I do it really won’t matter
Fear and anxiety and foreboding scatter
As He enters with me into a conversation
That has no words
And the meaning of it is so deep I cannot even comprehend it
Yet I know His life is going deep within
I know His life is going deep within
So deep that no devil, no fear, no sin
Will remove it, though they surely are trying
But there is an end to this selfish pity and sighing
And I will just rest here, right on the precipice
I will just stay here resting in the Presence
I will just know that He is tending my heart
Even as I am walking back home

K. Duane Carter 10-20-09

Thursday, November 12, 2009

My Dreamers

My Dreamers

I look now as I saw you then
Taking in the sand, the sun and the wind.
And as I often do I now see so much more
Than at the moment that I stood on this beautiful shore

I wish that I had asked you then.
I was not thinking of the time nor when
You would suddenly become men and be free.
I wonder now at what you see:

Do you wonder what dreams are beyond the blue?
Do you ever, ever doubt that I truly love you?
Do you know you make me the proudest one?
Do you stand there and ponder the wonder of Sun?

I hope you stand in wonder with me
That as you grow into men, as you become free
You will see the wondrous works of God’s omnipotent hands
Which are shaping my dreamers that now stand on the sands.

K. Duane Carter 1-1-06

Monday, November 2, 2009

Waking the Dead

I am newly arrived
Got here 40 years ago
With my eyes to the skies
And then as time rolled on
My eyes turned downward
And then inward
And that is where I lost the view
That is where I don’t know me from you
And now I have no clue how to get out of here
I’ve got no prophet, I’ve got no seer
To show me the way
This is my day
Day in and day out
Day in and day out
I walk round and round and round about
In the very same circle
It’s just the smells that get older and older
I look at the autumn leaves of fire
And somewhere inside of me it lights a desire
To go back to that place, that place once again
Before my eyes were turned down
Before my eyes were turned in
And know what it is like to see the sun
And to know its fire
To know the life of a heart of desire
I know it is there
It has got to be there
Because I hear it burning right before my eyes
I feel it stirring, stirring in my chest
Could it be, could it be that it came in my rest
And not from walking around in the circles?
I see a moth, its wings spread wide
It rests upon the screen door outside
And the light does display its wonder
Now I feel the splitting asunder
Of those things that keep me imprisoned within
I see the moth take flight again
And know that is about to happen to me
Set me free, Jesus, set me free

My God, I am alive!! kdc 11-2-09

I apologize for taking the title from the book that I just read, but this poem and the theme of that book are so closely linked that I had to use it that way.