Friday, July 21, 2017

Determined



Determined
I haven’t written in quite some time
In prose or poetry or broken rhyme
I’ve simply walked along the pathways
Living life, watching days
Drifting along as the ancient sails
Their ancient groans and cries and wails
Still circle this blue globed earth
Still fill the seas with joy and mirth
As they are accompanied by the sailors’ songs
This rambunctious evening, this darkness long
Has held the silence my mind is craving
No other thing has been more enslaving
Than this debacle going through my mind
This devils’ treatise, this going blind
Through the never ending ways of busyness
Through the never ending void of soft caress
I have succeeded in what is seen, I have not in the sublime
So before I leave this meandering rhyme
I am determined to know my life’s source
Whether lion, ostrich, lamb, or horse
I am determined to know the difference 

That simply being me can be

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Significant



Significant
It’s quiet here
But life is noisy
The real world is full of noise and chaos
So why do I like the silence so much?
What is it here that makes me feel alive?
Out there in the bustle I am a loner, a misfit
The flashing screens make my brain repulse 
The noise, the empty conversations
The things that fill the every day that really don’t matter at all
The things that in the future will be dust
I just
Cannot live like that at all
I cannot also judge those that do
It is not up to me what is up to you
But I simply cannot join in the great milieu
Of sport and cars and hotel stays
So I put on my hiking boots once more
I pick up my camera and amongst shouts of “bore!”
I walk up to the mountains
I seek my place where God and I 
Can have a conversation
Where I can actually hear what he has to say
Often there are no words to pray
There is simply the majesty of the snow-capped mountains
To remind me I am small
Yet I am also very, very great

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Walk


Walk
Can I walk with a pen?
Can I take steps along paths unknown
Along the ways of wisdom known for ages?
To see what has yet to be seen
To hear what has yet to be heard
Words that have always been spoken
Do I have eyes to see, ears to hear?
Do I have a heart that yearns to endear
Or am I even supposed to worry about myself?
Maybe I should just take the steps
Put the pen to the paper
Walk the walk, talk the talk
Holding on to all things eternity
Breathing in all things eternal
I lift up my simple life, a kernel
And die.

The first step is taken


Now I await for life to awaken
Within
Without
Despite the dark and the lingering doubt
The birds are singing in the branches

Monday, July 3, 2017

Mountain Journey



Mountain Journey
I have seen the vast mountain ranges
Covered in snow
Here I stand
A gnat amongst the Milky Way
Yet they beckon
These rising behemoths beckon
To come and see what dwells inside
See it is not just the visible beauty
There to be discovered
There is the more magnificent deep within
Waiting to be uncovered
Here, this place, is where life’s meanings are found
This place, here, is where true life resounds
I take a step
My feet sink into the snow
This process might be cold and slow
But I must take my place among the mountain tops

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Chasing



Chasing
I get tired of chasing inspiration
I get frustrated with interruptions
This ever-gnawing, ever-present desire
Something beyond words, a burning fire
So deep within I cannot see it nor hear it
Yet I most assuredly can feel it
It is my life calling me forth
It is life itself calling me into the beyond
Beyond normalcy, beyond status quo
Even beyond the knowns of excellent and good
Into realms of even better and best
Places of peace, places of rest
Where I have no part in a chaotic hurricane
Rather I stand in the cooling rain
Just taking in the rainbows from the sunshine
It’s light is there no matter the circumstances
No matter the mistakes, the crushed romances
No matter the costs, the worries, the trials
No matter the doubts, curses or dark denials
Light does shine, darkness doesn’t argue
My every lot, my every sinew
Is washed anew in this effervescence 

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Reclining



Reclining
I could sit here in this chair all day
Pondering the mysteries and wonders before me
And when the day is over and done
I am deeper into the struggle than ever before
Knowing less but feeling more
Closer to You than ever before
Closer to me

I can watch the sweeps dance across the waters
I can see the ducks resting in the rain
As I sit here in this recliner seeing it all
Writing out a simple refrain
I sense I am walking to something deeper
Something beyond the dark and the pain
Though I am more still than I have ever been

The rain keeps on falling and falling
The water keeps on accepting the earth
The sound of its music brings laughter
Its moisture brings clouds in the mirth
Heightening mirth more than ever before
Changing the sounds of the earth
Closer to You than ever before, still even closer to me

The wind has joined in with the laughter
The grasses now see they are green
It reminds me that my heart is a flower
It blooms in the realms that cannot be seen
Changing the sounds of the earth
Closer to You than ever before
Ever closer, even closer to free

I see

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Shadows on the Parking Lot



Shadows on the Parking Lot
I walk along during the late afternoon
The sun still high enough to make it like mid-day
The geometric shapes of shadows line the bay
They have changed
But yet they still are patterns
I wonder why all these patterns
All these equations
All these predictabilities 
Come from One Who is unpredictable
From One Who has no form
No shape, no patterns that He would ever fit into
I wonder what would I say, what would I do
If I ever had the chance to meet Him
Right there, in my face, in my person
What would that be like?
I’m sure it wouldn’t be like these dark and quiet shadows
Shifting with the angles of the sunlight
I’m sure it wouldn’t be predictable
Though likely predictably incredible
Awe-inspiring, shaking, thundering
These geometric shapes have changed
Yet still there is a pattern
Maybe there is message here
That the methods can change
And change with time
Yet there is always the pattern of love

The geometric shapes of shadows line the bay
Yet the sun is still high enough to make it like mid-day

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Sensing



Sensing
I have sensed the poetic
Yet I have yet to engage it
That delight seems to flit around in great whimsy and flight
When I try to approach it with determination and might
It surely just whisps away
Or possibly I might squash it like an annoying ant
Under the padding of my thumb
I cannot enter the world of numb
I simply, simply cannot
I must feel the joy along with the pain
I must imbibe the sunshine along with the rain
Because both are essentially life-giving
I’d rather hurt in the land of the living
Than be eternally numb in the realms of the dead
I touch the fear, I feel the dread
Yet this fire within me will consume it
I will not take it for granted, nor will I assume it
To be ever present, though it always is
I rather yield to the waxing flames
I listen for the lightning names
To sound off in the dark distances
In dark divorce, in stark romances
There is ever still the light, the heat
The love that sits on supremacy’s seat
It is love that will aways guide me
I am sensing the poetic

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Simple


Simple
Sometimes I just try too hard to be poetic
Trying to turn every little detail of the day into something profound
All the while life stands there beckoning in all its grand simplicity
A conversation
A smile
A beautiful face
The clouds
The mountains
The rain
All these things in short refrains 
That don’t require any histrionics at all
They don’t require any deep thought or shame
Just simply a moment of pure joy
A seed
Which grows into a giant redwood
Something of eternal depth and height and weight
All from the living of life in the day
Within the day I’ve been given

Friday, June 2, 2017

Call to Arms


Call to Arms
There is nothing quite like the emptiness
Of a poet’s mind and heart
Staring at this blank piece of paper
With an even blanker mind
The heart numb
The spirit still 
And though my heart and soul and will
Long for a deep expression
The minutiae of the day 
Have drained it all away
Is this really any way to live?
Is this really any way to live at all?
A whim, an act, a curtain call
Then a glass of wine to wash the day away?
Listless sleep, a restless slumber
Then the agonizing buzz of a raucous alarm
The same damn time, the same damn number
To announce it is time to pretend again
Is this any way to live?
Is this really any way to live at all?
Is this even really living at all
Or is it merely cheap gyrations?
In the midst of all these frustrations
There’s nothing quite like the emptiness
So I, determined, pick up this pen
This is my sword
This is my dagger
And with the glory of a warrior’s swagger
I will stick it as deep into this slumber as I can

Just to understand what life and love can be.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Crest


Crest
Waves of anger and depression
Slapping against my being like gray waves
On a black sand beach
Too hot to walk on
Too dreary to sit and watch
So I’ll move along and check the swatch
Of this new satin and silky fabric
This stuff that is supposed to hold it all together
This stuff that brings happiness in any kind of weather
Oh look, the moths and the worms have left their say
I cannot speak, I cannot pray
Or I can but I’m afraid of what I will speak
Everything I’ve loved, I seek
But have found this place of dark derision
I have come to the point of stark decision
Do I jump into this mosh pit that I can see
Or do I wait for these things I cannot
This waiting is hell, it seems to go on eternal
This silence is torture, this noise is infernal
When all that my soul longs for is a sound
A sound that casts all to the ground
All that is not beauty, down

I still cannot hear it.

Maybe I should move
Maybe I should change my place
Maybe I should change my face
Like all the other superstars
Maybe I should join in the farce
Known as jaunty superstition and hype
Known as virtual expertise, so ripe 
Is the fruit of all our monstrosities
Painted to appear like lovely charities
We mock what we cannot know

I look to the mountains and see the snow
I long to know its cold, pure light.

I have wandered far, I have wandered here
I have left the wheel and refused to steer
The course that every other person seems to go
They ask and ask, I answer “I don’t know,
I have no idea of which way to go
And I’m not sure anyone else does either.”
I pause for a moment to enjoy a breather
And everyone else perceives it as ignorance
Simply because I am not speaking
They leave me standing there with the answer in my soul
So, that’s ok, I’ll just walk to whole
I’ll just meander myself off into the distance
I’m told I need a guide, a companion, a help
Yet all of these have seem to go their own ways
I look to stars, I lift my gaze
I decide to follow the whisperings of the wind
This wind, the last of my unseen friends
Begins to dance along the river
This place is good, my spine does quiver
In the knowing of nothing at all
In the understanding of almost everything
I feel a song, a dance, I sing
To a song that only the dogs can hear
A song I know and love so well
A song that makes the gray waves swell
Until they crest into a blue-green sea

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Beauty Among Us



 Beauty Among Us

Amongst the earth
Amongst the stones
Beauty blossoms
And carries on
The truths that we all know within
A simple saunter, a gentle whim
Is often the only thing we need
It’s good to know
It’s good to succeed
Yet the only thing we really need
Is to love and to be loved
Love is really our only way
And love always shows up in beauty
It always shows up with hope
Amongst the earths
Amongst the stones
Amongst the anger
Amongst the drones
Beauty blossoms
And carries on
There is always a beauty amongst us

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Sense Eternal



Sense eternal
there seems to be a place where I live
yet I cannot seem to dwell there
I cannot seem to breathe the air there
all the while smoldering in this sordid heat
and dryness, dark and dust
I live in a land of angels and oceans
Streaming rivers, birds in flight
Mists dancing with the mountains
Where words are never enough
You have to breathe in the beauty
For it just becomes a part of you
I feel it in the depths of me
I know I am there
I can feel the colors, the sounds 
The movements of the symphonies eternal
yet I can still smell the dust, the heat
Instead of running through golden fields of wheat
I simply sit here and yearn for more
I refuse to live in an unending chore
But rather dwell in the beauty
Knowing that it must flow forth from me
Water for the trees
Healing for the nations
Joy and hope and deep libations
Of all that is good and real
there seems to be a place where I live
I simply have to dwell there
or maybe rather let it dwell in me

Recalibrate



Recalibrate
Sometimes when I feel like life is just one hassle after another
I have to stop and look at places like this
Realizing that there are things and places that have been here so much longer than a moment
Things that will go on in their beauty for so much longer than I will ever dream
There is beauty and there is mystery in every thing
I just simply have to choose what I choose to see
I simply have to choose what I choose to believe
I simply have to breathe in the mountain air and remember
What it is that truly makes me alive…

There now….I thrive

Monday, May 8, 2017

Violet Still



Violet Still

We rest here
Violet spirits amongst steel gray chains
The interlocking of humanity
Amongst the confines of metal earth
We seem so ethereal here
Because we are
Bringing beauty to a place of woven barriers
These so called borders
That do nothing but impede our way
Yet our beauty will always have its say
Our majesty will always point to the path
Of life and love and tragedy
Of pain, of joy, of comedy
All of those roots that feed us life
We shine for now, now comes the night
We are still

We are still

Everlasting

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

The Choosing

The Choosing
I’m at a place of mental exhaustion
And that’s a very humiliating thing for me to say
I’ve always been proud of my ability to handle adversity
Chaos, struggle were great unknowns
Now I find myself hardly able to remember my name
Is this the way it must be when all is the same
When all is a frenzied rendition?
Maybe so
Maybe not
I refuse to enter the world of dry rot
The place where all is a beggar
The place where all one seeks is pleasure
Where all one finds is pain
I am not going there
I rather decide to see what is before me
A rising sun, a setting moon
A simple lunch I take at noon
These things brings a spark of the grateful into my soul
This is a step toward me being whole
Simply being thankful for the good around me
I understand there is frantic and frenetic maelstrom
But I also know there is dancing and music
So I choose to imbibe in the latter
Relishing a glass of California wine
Listening to the weavings of the Ponderosa pine
Allowing beauty to alter my course


I can feel the breezes from the oceans

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Refractions



Refractions
Are You only found in simplicity
Or is it only in complexity?
Could it possibly be a “both” and an “and”
That brings us to the touch of a Father’s hand
Could it be my eyes are so close to me
That I cannot see the good that sets me free?
I sense the fears, the angers, the distractions
Not knowing the hopes that release the refractions
Sending the light in tens of thousands of directions
More colors than I could ever know
Whether I take it in, in its glorious context
Or whether I take it in fully without
There is still a hue, a vague, a shade, a glimpse
That brings a bright spark back in to my DNA.