Right

Right

I wish I could be confident

I wish I knew

The only thing I know

Is that I really don’t know

But I guess that’s a starting point 

That’s knowing a something

I look at the sunrise, the sunset

In an analytical way

What angle is the best to capture this

What will be the moment of best color

All the while I never really experience the moment

That is a parable of my entire life with God and others

That simple picture

Though staggering and painful and downright sad

Is simply the truth

It’s why I am not confident at all

Only my left brain is working

My right, in the stillness, is asking for just one chance

To let me know the great sunrise

1/30/19

New Day

New Day

It’s very hard to be a perfectionist

Because the very standard I use for me

Is the one I use for others

And everyone fails in this system, including me

Utterly

Miserably

Which makes me wonder

Maybe perfect is not the way any of us should be

Maybe I am fighting against a reality

That will never, ever move

I work so hard to test and prove

I am right

While all existence says “Not so.”

I’m not quite sure which way to go

But I do know I must turn away from here

This place that only knows judgment and fear

I must leave it at once

I have no idea where I am going

But anywhere else must be better

I might just need to write a letter

A letter of resignation to my former self

Clear these self-made trophies off of the shelf

Go outside, breathe the air

Look up to the mountains there

And take the worst photo I’ve ever taken

Laugh it off, let my perfection be shaken

Right off into the colors of the sunrise.

1/22/19

The Rushing

The Rushing

Let’s just sit here and stare at the screen, shall we?

Let’s just sit here and stare

Thinking nothing, going nowhere

Life seems to be nothing

But a series of distracting interruptions

Destroying any sense of creativity

A giant ocean trapped by a dam of crumbling earth

How ridiculous is that?

Maybe that is the biggest frustration

Something infinite and grand

Seems powerless against a barren land

But all our great stories tell us otherwise

Often it isn’t what we see with our eyes

Often it is what we know with our hearts

Where beauty resides

Often there is the place of great freedom

The place of the unseen

Eternal hues of blues and greens

I can hear the rushing of the waters…

1/20/19

Authentic

Authentic

Just be yourself

Think for yourself

Don’t be an amalgamation of many people 

But aren’t we all an amalgamation?

Our DNA is the very display

Of thousands of others

But where did that all begin

It is there we find our answers 

Of who we really are 

Made from dust of sun and star

Or just a random lottery win

Where did all of this beauty begin again 

And where did it all go wrong

I could hide myself among a song

Or I could step out in the open

Knowing the sunlight will reveal it all

1/9/19