End of September

End of September

This is the summer that is never ending

The autumn came 3 days ago

But only on the calendar

The days are still warm; hot, even

It seems they are waiting for something to change

Something to change before they will change

Sounds so familiar to me

I pass by a local maple tree

Its leaves know it’s the end of September

The last time I felt, I don’t remember

The meaning or the beauty of it all

I think the answer to my levity

Is I am focused always, forever, on me

That is such a finite pool to draw from

Though I sense the waveforms of the eternal

The autumn came 3 days ago

But only on the calendar

These days still warm, still far from tender

Are waiting for something to change

Sounds so familiar to me

9/24/19 kdc

Rain in May

Rain in May

The biggest lesson of today

A day of rain and cold and quiet

Is to enjoy

Yes it’s the midst of May

The time of sun and warmth and flowers and green

Yet

Those things aberrant are often the very things we need

To see our lives in a whole new way

I take my last drink of my peppermint hot chocolate

Thankful for its warmth

This cold sits foreign against my skin

Yet I do not ask just why or when

Things will go back to the way I’ve known them

That way may never be known again

This rain is a good friend

5/18/19

Autumn (Change)

Autumn

An introverted poet

Often it is an inanimate life

Filled with avoidance

Loneliness

Introspection

Questions

Doubts

People seem more like interruptions

Than the gifts they truly are

I can sit all night and wish upon a star

Yet if there is no one else to share it with

What does it ever really matter?

But reaching out is so hazardous

So much energy

So much risk

So much potential for pain

So much potential for love

I’ve reached the point of my abyss

Where I must choose to take the risks

Even if it is moment by moment by moment

Lots of slips and falls

Lots of angry retribution

Lots of cursing others

Much more of cursing myself

Yet I must get up again

Looking up toward the sunlight

I must not walk along the river

But through it

In it

Going along until it runs over my head

I pick up my feet and let it carry me instead

Of constantly fighting to keep my balance

Every step is a choice

Every choice is a step

I’m not sure why I’ve even chosen this direction

Other than deep within me my being cries out for me to

There must be something worthwhile at the end of this

Or maybe the treasure is scattered all along the route

With this thought my heart has a quiet shout

That is the first I’ve felt since my childhood

I must pursue the beauty, I must pursue the good

All while the good pursues me

I see the changing tree

10/7/17

The Awakening (Embrace)

The Awakening (Embrace)

Whoa!

I almost fell off the edge right there

Teetering on the brink of insanity

Boredom

Uselessness

Nothing is ever good enough

Nothing is ever good enough

The poets once said

“Same as it ever was

Same as it ever was”

I believed them

Now I’ve walked that path at least thirty years

And have found that it ends up here at a precipice

I almost fell right off the edge

So now what do I do?

Do I turn around 

Retrace my steps

Go back to wherever this started?

I might die before I get there

Or I might live

I might be completely overwhelmed with monotony

Or I might see the subtle differences

That come with seeing things from the opposite way

All I know is I have come to this day

Almost aimlessly

Is it too late to set a new course?

Is it too hard to begin anew?

Maybe,

But it is surely more mundane to keep going

This path I have already chosen

This dirty snow, these rocks that are frozen

Give me nothing firm to stand upon

I decide that I must not carry on

I must decide to embrace the difference.