Singing River

https://songsfromtheriver.com/2020/06/13/singing-river/

Authentic

Authentic

Just be yourself

Think for yourself

Don’t be an amalgamation of many people 

But aren’t we all an amalgamation?

Our DNA is the very display

Of thousands of others

But where did that all begin

It is there we find our answers 

Of who we really are 

Made from dust of sun and star

Or just a random lottery win

Where did all of this beauty begin again 

And where did it all go wrong

I could hide myself among a song

Or I could step out in the open

Knowing the sunlight will reveal it all

1/9/19

Molting

Molting

I keep coming back to this well

And every time I find it dry

But I keep coming back

And I keep coming back

Empty

Empty 

Emptiness 

There seems to be no word association

With Emptiness

Because when there is nothing there

There is nothing to associate with

Just like everyone else’s search for eternal bliss

Mine seems to be sorting through laundry

Making car payments

Daily grinds

These thoughts that come forward to my mind

Are gut wrenching

But so Blase'

I think I’ll go and find a tray

Filled with bright hors’d oeuvres 

A sporty car to drive the curves

To navigate the way to nowhere

I sit here in the smoke and stare

Into this long and deep abyss

It is the clouds and skies I miss

They do make such a difference

I grow tired of this poetic inference 

That leads me to this same empty well

I’m ready to let go of this shell

Let my soft insides be revealed

I could be loved

I could be peeled

But at least I would be me

Determined

Determined

I haven’t written in quite some time

In prose or poetry or broken rhyme

I’ve simply walked along the pathways

Living life, watching days

Drifting along as the ancient sails

Their ancient groans and cries and wails

Still circle this blue globed earth

Still fill the seas with joy and mirth

As they are accompanied by the sailors’ songs

This rambunctious evening, this darkness long

Has held the silence my mind is craving

No other thing has been more enslaving

Than this debacle going through my mind

This devils’ treatise, this going blind

Through the never ending ways of busyness

Through the never ending void of soft caress

I have succeeded in what is seen, I have not in the sublime

So before I leave this meandering rhyme
I am determined to know my life’s source

Whether lion, ostrich, lamb, or horse

I am determined to know the difference 

That simply being me can be

Another Other

Another Other

I had to take a nap today

I was completely exhausted

From trying to be someone I’m not

I guess that’s why some have to drink their coffee

I guess that’s why some have to smoke their pot

It seems we’re all one day thrown into this game

This game where so very few are winners

This show, this play, this fantasy world

Of lights, of sounds, of spinners

We’re supposed to act one way in public

Then be another whole other in bed

We’re supposed to smile like there is no tomorrow

Even when our past and our present are dead

We must laugh when we want to be somber

We must cry when we just want to leave

We must carry every one else’s burdens

While our own over Gibraltar we heave

Into the oceans of forgetfulness and naught

I had to take a nap today

I need one every time

I work to live out another’s poem

Instead of living out my own rhyme

Liberation (the unwrapping)

Liberation (the unwrapping)

There’s an app to tell me how well I’ve slept

An app to tell me if I’ve walked enough

An app to keep me on my feet

An app to measure if I’m fit and tough

Yet there’s not an app to help rid me of this anger

Nothing to diagnose this loneliness, this angst

There’s not an app to tell me why I can never seem

To find the level where my soul is ranked

There’s not an app to help me find my tribe

The place where destiny dwells

No

No place amongst the robotic swells

Only life seems to be able to do this

Only living among the living and not amongst the dead

Nor amongst the robotic

So I set my phone down on the table’s bed

I walk outside and I keep on walking

My pedometer thinking I’m just a lazy slob

but the real me is walking into true freedom

This is just what I needed

The Rush

Rush

Sometimes I sit here before this scene

Like a frenzied race horse stuck in the gates

Ready years ago to be released into the race

The race declared long past to be finished

Yet I still want to run

Others have run and run well

I stand amongst the earthen swell

Feeling like I have nothing to give, nothing to say

Just looking across an empty day

To another empty chasm

A chasm made of iron, just a small depth in width

Yet completely reliant on the will of another

My ambition is causing me to almost smother

In the thoughts of what was, what could be

I long to be free

I long to be me, even in the midst of darkened frustrations

Disappointments, disillusioned, a milieu of temptations

Yielded to but not forgotten, spat upon but loved all the same

I stand here at the gate, I remember my name

And the door swings open wide with a rush

Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images/Google Images

Snapped Awake

Snapped Awake

I’m sitting at a table

Surrounded by women speaking Greek

I don’t understand a thing

Nor can I get a word in edgewise

Nor would it matter if I could

For I would be so misunderstood

So I begin to drift away

I begin to wander, stray

I like it here in the wilderness

The quiet, the solitude, the stillness

No responsibility to engage

No grand efforts to hold it all together

I have slipped so far into the daydream 

That I don’t even hear when my name is called

I don’t know how long I’ve been here

I don’t know how long I stayed

I think it was the third time or so that my name was called

I suddenly snapped back to the moment

Awake, alert, all senses on guard

Completely ignorant of the conversation

Completely void of any answers to the questions

Completely unaware of what the questions are

I am seemingly stuck in this awkward moment forever

Everyone at the table looking at me

Expecting an answer to the question I didn’t even hear

Maybe I’ll go and find that rock I belong under

Maybe it’s a marble stone

My name, some dates, some times

Some stillness, all stillness

Or maybe I should find the rock I’m supposed to stand upon

And simply let the sunshine bathe my face

This awkward moment will be erased

Just like all the others

Just like every other time

Where I was called upon to not be me