Musings on Sunday (Unfinished)

Musings on Sunday (Unfinished)

We often feel we must have something to say

We must have this profound wisdom

This answer

And we must have it now

Give it now

Know it now

Yet we really live in the midst of a vast universe

Unknown

Untouched

Never experienced

Still we think we know it all

We know nothing

Nothing at all

Our knowledge and our opinions are infinite

Yet they are a microscopic drop

An atom

A proton

A quark

In the midst of millions of galaxies

So who am I to judge my brother

Who am I to tell my sister she is wrong

Who are they to tell me who I am

Who I am not

None of us have the right to judge another

None of us hardly know ourselves

Much less what drives the heart beats of all the others

See, I live in the midst of great distractions

I can’t join one thought to another

Without an interruption in the mix

It’s a miracle these sentences come forth

These thoughts born right in the middle of chaos

Might simply be a picture of how life really is

I try to shut down the noise

But the noise is just too voluminous for me

Waves come crashing in from everywhere

Now my thoughts are lost in a sandy mix of dark frustration

Grating against my soul

Creating thousands of pearls

I put on the piano music

Listened through the earphones

So that I don’t pay back evil for evil

I consider the others

Even though there is no consideration for me

It’s the way I’ve always been

It’s the way I’ll always be

So here we are

Alone in the world again

I know life is meant to be lived with others

It’s not to be lived alone

But I can’t take all the delusions
I simply want to live in my home

Being what I am supposed to be

Where was I before all of this droning

Who was I before all the stoning

My broken bones and bruises might be healed

The memories still reside

I think I must make the journey inside

To see the one who walks the earth

The one who sees the heavens

The one who lives in the both and the and

The one who sees the purpose in the sand

The one who sees the emptiness of the time

And all its fullness thereof

I don’t think this will ever be finished

4/7/19

Etiology

Etiology

The source of all my troubles is comparison

Comparison always leaves me wanting

Or it leaves me full of pride

It has never placed me in the streams of peace

Never has it put me in the fields of love

Never has it let me sleep the night away

In dreams of wonder and awe

Everywhere I go now

I am judged and compared

I can’t sing like the one on the radio

So I forever stop singing and meekly listen

I’m not beautiful like the one on the gilded screen

So I don’t place my ugly anywhere in the world

Even where it is desperately needed

I can’t write like the laureate 

So I drop my pen

The poems are never born

I can’t dance like the ones on the stage

So I am still

Winds of joy never move over the earth

In other words

I compare

And I die

We wonder why there is such a despair in our world

It’s time to live

It’s time to stop comparing

To stop quitting because I don’t “measure up”

To hell with your ruler

To hell with your rules and measures

I am me

There is no other like me

Never will there ever be

I was planted in this world to grow

That is exactly what I plan to do

To grow right where I am planted

And not worry about the weeds around me

Or the weeds within

I will look to where the sun is

Ever growing toward the light

I will sing

I will laugh

I will dance

I will be who I am

And Life will permeate the earth

I will no longer compare

3/17/19

Rose Garden

Rose Garden

There is a real hope

And it hurts.

To lean into it,

No, to dive full on into it

Is the destiny of humanity 

But there within its living form are so many thorns 

Painful, hideous thorns

Disappointment, disillusionment 

Failure, rejection

These are the thorns on the roses of hope

And they are perilous, 

So perilous indeed

So what do I do?

Do I merely admire from a distance 

Or move just close enough to know the scent?

Or do I take the biggest risk

Put my hands in the midst

And grab hold

Not just to grasp it for me

Maybe never just for me

But in order to give it to another

My hands are bleeding 

It was worth every pain

2/26/19

Great Ones

Great Ones

There are many great ones on the earth

Not because they are known

Not because they are wealthy

Not because they are influential or powerful

But because they care

Because they love

Because they live life the way a human being lives life

Loving one another

Loving those that cross their paths

Whether that be another person, an animal, or a tree in the forest

These people are the ones that quietly move about

Changing the earth one moment at a time

They are never applauded

They are never written about

Most may be never noticed

But they are seen and known

They are honored and praised

By the lives of all, by the land

Let’s give these folks a hand….

2/23/19

Winter Blahs

Winter Blahs

It’s difficult to write poetry

When you’re dead inside

Everything is lifeless

Everything is irritating

I’m not sure how that happens

Feeling irritation when you’re dead

But that’s when it seems to happen the most

Every little thing

Is like a huge boulder

Dropping on your toes

Over and over again

In some kind of cruel repetition

I hate writing things like this

I hate words like hate and cruel and irritation

I don’t want those kind of contrasts in my life

I don’t want that dark background

Making some supposed light seem brighter

I simply want to enjoy the sunlight again

I simply want to feel the air against my skin

I simply want to feel, feel something

Besides all of this negative bombardment

All of this shrapnel of violence irate

All of this smoldering backwash of hate

I want to feel something besides this

So maybe a death is quite necessary

Maybe a death to all of these things

Will bring forth a life where everyone sings

Everyone plays

Everyone dances

In love and war and long romances

Everyone is who they are to be

Not stuck up in this hollow tree

Hearing nothing but the sound of me

2/18/19

Beautiful

Beautiful

Life is beautiful

Whatsoever is beautiful is life

Transformation is seeing the beautiful

In the mundane

I love eagles soaring

Hawks seeking

Falcons diving

All of these are majestic and powerful

All would agree to their beauty in the skies

Yet today the raven

Drifting in the wind

Falling, dancing, flying

In all of its blackness

In all of its common ways

It is beautiful

I would have missed it if I had been seeking otherwise

The beauty I see, this magnifies

By billions fold

I’m not sure I can handle all of that

And I’m not quite sure I’m supposed to

Life is beautiful.

2/2/19

Right

Right

I wish I could be confident

I wish I knew

The only thing I know

Is that I really don’t know

But I guess that’s a starting point 

That’s knowing a something

I look at the sunrise, the sunset

In an analytical way

What angle is the best to capture this

What will be the moment of best color

All the while I never really experience the moment

That is a parable of my entire life with God and others

That simple picture

Though staggering and painful and downright sad

Is simply the truth

It’s why I am not confident at all

Only my left brain is working

My right, in the stillness, is asking for just one chance

To let me know the great sunrise

1/30/19