Real Life

I have struggled some this Thanksgiving for a variety of reasons. It seems like that recently I have met with multiple disappointments and just frank disasters in life that have gotten me wondering what life is really all about. Now I know there are others that have it much worse than I do, but that isn't the point. The point is what are we all doing here and what is life about? Anyone that knows me well knows that when questions like that strike me, they go deep and I will almost go to any length to find an answer. In the midst of receiving news about friends with cancer, children with brain tumors, people dying, and young people throwing their lives away I had to simply get before God and ask, "What is going on here?" It is very frustrating to me to KNOW that I carry the power of the Living God within me, yet I can't seem to take that out of my chest and put it to use where it seems it is needed most. Yes, I can do the humanly possible things like pray and send cards and encourage people, but I just know in my heart we were made for more than that. When Jesus speaks of abundant life I really know in my heart that He means a life just like He lived, and He lived supernaturally. I told Him today that I feel like I am a man with a key ring that has thousands of keys on it, and some of the keys are locked up in little lockets, and I have a group of hundreds of children with me. We are standing before a great fortress with a huge iron gate, and on the inside is safety and provision for our entire group, and I have the key on that ring to open the gate, but I don't know which one it is. And to add to the drama there is a pack of wild beasts coming full speed at us, fully intending to tear us all apart and devour us. I scream, "God help me find the key!" only to hear silence. Or worse yet someone that is there with me tells me that I have to fix some issue in my life to open up one of the lockets so I can even get access to the keys. So, right here at the point of my greatest frustrations, one of my spiritual moms sends me a devotional that talks of how it is the heartbeat of God and His love that holds the entire universe together. It speaks of how our call is simply to rest with Him and allow His love to fill us, and then just go out and allow that love to flow. This may not sound profound, but it is life-changing. I don't have to "do" something to change the world. All I have to do is walk with Him and stay with Him, and He is powerful and loving enough that the simple act of being with Him will change me into one that is truly alive. His light and His life are what changes the world. I just have to be available for Him to shine through me. I don't know why I can't grasp this simple truth of walking in real life.

Grow Where I am Planted

Trees, lovely and stately
All throughout the mountains
All throughout the valleys
Placed in precision
By the Hand that knows all
And is all
I almost feel like the tree on the ledge
I feel like there isn’t much future for me
I am not placed in the fertile valley
I was placed right on the precipice
But I will grow where I am planted
Because there is a purpose here
Maybe it is to draw the eye to the beauty beyond
Maybe it is to just simply be
Maybe it is to draw the heart to the wonder and adventure that is here
I know not, and I don’t need to know
I simply need to grow
Lord, I grow where I am planted
And thank You for the view…

K. Duane Carter 11-14-09

The Precipice

The Precipice
I sit here at the edge of a precipice
Six inches away from a fall to death
With everything in me telling me I am going to die
All fear and anxiety and foreboding rising up to join the party
Showing me visions of the grisly fall
The grisly landing, and the grisly death
But I refuse to move; I refuse to move
For the view is so grand and so glorious
That I know I am looking at a reflection of God’s glory
And suddenly I sense Him sitting right there beside me
And fear turns to awe, and I know I am not going to die
And even if I do it really won’t matter
Fear and anxiety and foreboding scatter
As He enters with me into a conversation
That has no words
And the meaning of it is so deep I cannot even comprehend it
Yet I know His life is going deep within
I know His life is going deep within
So deep that no devil, no fear, no sin
Will remove it, though they surely are trying
But there is an end to this selfish pity and sighing
And I will just rest here, right on the precipice
I will just stay here resting in the Presence
I will just know that He is tending my heart
Even as I am walking back home

K. Duane Carter 10-20-09

My Dreamers

My Dreamers


I look now as I saw you then
Taking in the sand, the sun and the wind.
And as I often do I now see so much more
Than at the moment that I stood on this beautiful shore

I wish that I had asked you then.
I was not thinking of the time nor when
You would suddenly become men and be free.
I wonder now at what you see:

Do you wonder what dreams are beyond the blue?
Do you ever, ever doubt that I truly love you?
Do you know you make me the proudest one?
Do you stand there and ponder the wonder of Sun?

I hope you stand in wonder with me
That as you grow into men, as you become free
You will see the wondrous works of God’s omnipotent hands
Which are shaping my dreamers that now stand on the sands.

K. Duane Carter 1-1-06

Waking the Dead

I am newly arrived
Got here 40 years ago
With my eyes to the skies
And then as time rolled on
My eyes turned downward
And then inward
And that is where I lost the view
That is where I don’t know me from you
And now I have no clue how to get out of here
I’ve got no prophet, I’ve got no seer
To show me the way
This is my day
Day in and day out
Day in and day out
I walk round and round and round about
In the very same circle
It’s just the smells that get older and older
I look at the autumn leaves of fire
And somewhere inside of me it lights a desire
To go back to that place, that place once again
Before my eyes were turned down
Before my eyes were turned in
And know what it is like to see the sun
And to know its fire
To know the life of a heart of desire
I know it is there
It has got to be there
Because I hear it burning right before my eyes
I feel it stirring, stirring in my chest
Could it be, could it be that it came in my rest
And not from walking around in the circles?
I see a moth, its wings spread wide
It rests upon the screen door outside
And the light does display its wonder
Now I feel the splitting asunder
Of those things that keep me imprisoned within
I see the moth take flight again
And know that is about to happen to me
Set me free, Jesus, set me free

My God, I am alive!! kdc 11-2-09


I apologize for taking the title from the book that I just read, but this poem and the theme of that book are so closely linked that I had to use it that way.

Your Own Back Yard

Sometimes to find God you have to take a walk in your own back yard

You have to quiet yourself, and open your eyes to hear and your ears to see

And you have to listen and let yourself be

And allow Him to make all of the difference

Sometimes He will begin to dig to the roots

And always your heart He will woo and pursue

Whatever He says, whatever He does

You will never leave that place the same

He simply whispers His name

And shows it to you in the colors of fall

He gives you His all

In the picture of the leaves at fall

Yet one has to take that walk in his own back yard

To hear this, to see this at all

K. Duane Carter 10-12-09

Let God Loose

WOW!!! Two months since I've posted anything at all and the world is still moving along!!! Ha! Shows how earthshaking my opinions are, huh?? I will just get to the point. I haven't posted in that time because God has been doing some major overhauling in my heart and soul. I mean MAJOR overhauling. And it is difficult to write when that is going on. Not to mention another thing that has been a major change: we now have our 3 new children from Uganda, and THAT has really been a challenge. Even though the number of children we have increased by 50%, the noise and energy level has gone up about 3000%. Mix all of this in with God revealing to Melissa and I new ways to raise our children, and God really pulling out all of the garbage out of my heart, and you have the perfect recipe for, well, not blogging. I am sensing it is time, though, to start sharing. I think the most incredible thing I have learned over the last 2 months has been that I was living my life completely out of a mindset of fear. Everything I did was fear-based. Everything I was doing to raise my children was fear-based. My relationship with God was fear-based. But God doesn't just show us the garbage and then leave us stinking. He is showing me how to live from love. Now this isn't as easy as it sounds. In fact, when one has been living out of fear for years, there are times when living out of love just seems impossible. But of course, God likes impossible. God shows up in impossible. And that is just what He is doing.

That brings me to something else I am seeing. My relationships with God and my family and my friends are more important to me now than I would have ever imagined. One cannot love in a vacuum. There must be others present there. And here is where I feel like our whole society is coming apart, and where I think the church (the people of God, not a building) MUST rise up and fill in the gap. If you look at our world, relationships are just getting RIPPED. The modern-day church (the organization, not the people) doesn't even come CLOSE to allowing relationships to form and build and bear fruit. We have got to realize that coming together and faking smiles and singing some songs that make us feel good and hearing a sermon isn't changing the world. It is NOT CHANGING THE WORLD. I hope everyone heard that. It isn't. The only thing that is going to change this world is the love of God. God has established the earth for mankind to co-labor with Him. The only way for mankind to get the love of God is to get it through God's mankind. And the only way that happens is through relationships. Relationships cannot be fake. You can't build them in an afternoon handing out tracts. You can't build them with a weak pat on the back and a meaningless response of "I'll pray for ya." They take time, and they take effort, and they take courage, and they take patience, and most of all they take love. I feel like God is really calling His people to begin to really connect. It is time for those who have the love of God burning in their hearts to open up their homes and get together with a small group of others. You don't have to have everything in common. In fact, it's best if you don't. You don't have to "learn" anything except each other's stories. The only "agenda" has to be allowing God's love in to do what it does: Change the world. You don't have to have a Bible degree. Jesus' most significant witness in the New Testament was a demon-possessed maniac who had been born again and delivered all of about one hour, and Jesus sent him out to tell about what Jesus had done for him. The next time Jesus went through that town EVERYONE wanted to see Him, even though the time prior the whole town asked Him to get out. What happened? One man told his story. He changed the world by releasing the love of God. And that is what it is time for us to do. I wonder what would happen in our churches if there were a thriving collection of small groups who all came together and simply released the stories of God's love that were occurring in their groups. I bet we wouldn't be checking our watches wondering if we should eat Mexican or Chinese. I bet we would actually see what happens when we listen to Jesus and simply do what He shows us to do. I bet we would actually begin to EXPERIENCE the love of God instead of just talking about it. That sounds like heaven on earth to me. Let's get together. Let's get real. Let's let God loose. Let's let His love change the world.